S&W Race: Valco

Valco
Valco are a hardy race of bipedal goatlike humanoids. They are generally viewed as uncouth, untrustworthy primitives with no social graces and questionable intentions. The valco find these views flattering. They are also confrontational and aggressive, preferring to find employment whenever possible as mercenaries, soldiers, explorers, bandits, or some other martial endeavor. They are never wholly accustomed to the idea of asking before taking, though they eventually make an effort to conform to society most of the time.

Valco can see in the dark (darkvision) with a range of 60 feet. They have a +2 bonus to saves against poison and disease, and can, will, and do consume almost any organic substance without harm. If a valco can charge for at least 10 feet, they can make a charge attack with their horns that inflicts 1d8 points of damage.

Valco can be Assassins (5th level), Fighters (6th level; 7th level with a Strength of 15+), or Thieves (4th level).

1d6 Random Valco Characters

1. A smuggler looking (1d4: 1-for a route under the mountains; 2-for places to store contraband; 3-to diversify into tomb robbing and grave goods; 4-to get out of town for awhile).
2. A fledgling (kidling?) valco swordmaster is interested in testing his metal (literally) against monsters, rather than “civilized” opponents.
3. A roguish valco has been trading on the resemblance, and reputation, of satyrs, and needs to get out of town to avoid some angry husbands (or wives).
4. A former bandit is under a magical compulsion (geas, quest, oath, or similar) to behave in a “honorable and righteous” manner, and is trying to comply.
5. A valco assassin has been hired to eliminate one of the party under very specific circumstances, but is considering switching sides for the right payoff.
6. A former minion of an evil politician/wizard (now dead) has decided looting the secret dungeons of her former employer could be a profitable endeavor.

Spells: Four More Updated Spells for Swords & Wizardry

These are the 2nd-level spells that I updated or created for the gondlir. In regular play, Aid, Augury, and Portent are all 2nd-level Cleric spells; Countersong does not clearly fit into an existing class spell list.

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Aid
Level: 2
Range: Touch
Duration: 1 hour
The recipient gets a +1 bonus to attack rolls for the duration of the spell, and 1d8 bonus hit points, potentially increasing their hit points above normal for the duration of the spell. This spell cannot be cast on a character already in combat.

Augury
Level: 2
Range: Personal
Duration:  Special/ 3 turns
You perform a divination to reveal whether a particular action within the next 3 turns will bring weal or woe to yourself and your companions. The chance of success is 70% plus your level.

Countersong
Level: 2
Range: 120 feet
Duration: Concentration
You sing, chant, or recite a poem, and by doing so negate the effects of any auditory power or spell from creatures with a HD of double your level or less. Creatures already under the effect of such a power get a second save from this spell. The effect lasts for as long as you continue.

Portent
Level: 2
Range: Touch
Duration: Special
This spell warns the caster if the target is likely to have an episode of good or bad luck, in the form of a modifer to a d20 roll.  The Referee rolls a d6 and a d12 in secret when this spell is cast: the d6 determines the modifier, and the d12 the interval. On the d6 1=-3, 2=-2, 3=-1, 4=+1, 5=+2, and 6=+3. This information is given to the caster in the form of “good” (a +2 or +3 bonus), “fair” (+1 or -1), or “poor” (-2 or -3). The d12 is the number of attack rolls and saving throws the target must make until the modifier takes effect; in other words, if the d12 result is “7”, the 7th attack roll or saving throw the target makes after portent is cast will receive the portent modifer. The Referee should count only rolls that have real consequences, such as injury, and not “play-fighting” or other attempts to control the result.

Monsters: Hybrid Horses Haul Heroes

Nothing says your grain has gotten moldy and there's something wrong with the water quite like medieval bestiaries and heraldry. If your heroes are bored with horses, but not quite ready for hippogriffs and griffons, here are four equine-ish creatures to help out.

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Alektrequus
Hit Dice: 4 
Armor Class: 5[14] 
Attacks: 2 claws (1d4+1), 1 bite (1d6) 
Saving Throw: 13 
Special: Rake (2d4) 
Move: 18 (Fly 21) 
Alignment: Neutral 
Number Encountered: 3d4 (herd) 
Challenge Level/XP: 4/120 
An alektrequus has the head, wings, and forelegs of a rooster, and the body of a horse. They can be trained to carry a rider, but they are extremely bad-tempered.

Alektrequus: HD 4; AC 5[14]; Atk 2 claws (1d4+1), 1 bite (1d8); Move 18 (Fly 21); Save 13; AL N; CL/XP 4/120; Special: None.

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Asittern
Hit Dice: 2+1
Armor Class: 7[12]
Attacks: 1 bite (1d6), 2 hooves (1d3)
Saving Throw: 16
Special: None
Move: 15
Alignment: Neutral
Number Encountered: 3d6 (herd)
Challenge Level/XP: 2/30 

The asittern, or ass-bittern, is a hybrid animal with the body of a donkey and the head of a bittern, a water bird. They live in marshes and swamps, and are sometimes domesticated by marsh dwellers as beasts of burden. They are stubborn and bad-tempered. The hippittern is a larger breed of the same creature.

Asbittern: HD 2+1; AC 7[12]; Atk 1 bite (1d6), 2 hooves (1d3); Move 15; Save 16; AL N; CL/XP 2/30; Special: None.

Hippittern: HD 3+1; AC 7[12]; Atk 1 bite (1d8), 2 hooves (1d3); Move 18; Save 14; AL N; CL/XP 3/60; Special: None.

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Hippalectryon

Hit Dice: 3+1
Armor Class: 6[13]
Attacks: 1 bite (1d2), 2 hooves (1d3)
Saving Throw: 14
Special: Rake (2d4)
Move: 18 (Fly 18)
Alignment: Neutral
Number Encountered: 1d4 (herd)
Challenge Level/XP: 3/60
A hippalectryon has the foreparts of a horse, and the wings and hindquarters of a giant rooster. They are can be trained to carry a rider. All hippalectryon are male and reproduce by breeding with other equine species (including alektrequus, asitterns, hippitterns, hippogriffs, horses, pegasi, and unicorns). If a hippalectryon hits with its two hoof attacks, it can leap into the air and attack with the claws and spurs on its hind legs, inflicting 2d4 points of damage.

Hippalectryon: HD 3+1; AC 6[13]; Atk 1 bite (1d2), 2 hooves (1d3); Move 18 (Fly 18); Save 14; AL N; CL/XP 3/60; Special: rake (2d4).

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New Monsters: Giant Chipmunks and the Ghcturu

Uvetyz (Giant Chipmunk)
The uvetyz are chipmunks the size of bears. They live in dense forests, excavating extensive burrows in which to store food and anything that catches their interest. They are primarily vegetarians, but are quick to attack if threatened. They can stuff a halfling-size or smaller creature into a cheek pouch with a successful attack roll instead of doing damage.

Uvetyv: HD 5; AC6(13); Atk 1 bite (1d8); Save 12; Special:cheek pouch; Move 12, burrow 12; Alignment: Neutral; CL/XP: 5/240

Adventure Hooks: Retrieve an item a uvetyz has stolen; take refuge in a uvetyz burrow for shelter or to find food.

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Ghcturu 
The ghcturu are a race of giant ant-like insects that live in open grasslands. They have multi-faceted eyes; long, rigid wings; and an elongated abdomen ending in a stinger. They are charcoal in color and stand six feet high at the shoulder. They dig labyrinth tunnels underground and create towering mounds of soil above ground from which to survey their territory. They speak their own language of movement, scent, and sound, and one ghcturu in each colony can speak Common. Their poison paralyzes for 1d4 hours with a failed saving throw.

Ghcturu: HD 5; AC 3(16); Atk 1 bite (1d8) and 1 sting (1d4+poison); Save 12; Move 9, fly 18; Alignment: Neutral; CL/XP: 6/400

Adventure Hooks: Negotiate an agreement between humans and ghcturu, one of whom is moving into the other's territory; fight off a ghcturu attack and find out why they have suddenly begun attacking travellers.

In my opinion...

...is a phrase you're almost never going to see here.

Recent posts on other blogs have gotten me thinking about opinion essays. They are a stalwart of the OSR blogosphere.  They are, quite possibly, the mainstay of the OSR blogosphere.

I hate writing them.

I have opinions, and I'm not particularly reticent to express them, but I'm not particularly judgmental and I'm not fond of conflict. There is a deep-rooted part of me that does not care how anyone else plays their game, and finds it peculiar that other people actually have emotions about it. Proselytizing my beliefs has no appeal to me; condemning others has no interest; I generally find it more efficient to show rather than say; and when writing for the OSR and Swords & Wizardry, I honestly enjoy working within the context of the system even when it's disagreeable or awkward.

When I first got online, back in the glory days of TSR AOL, I did so expressly to network with the designers at TSR.  Online time was limited, so I picked the board with what seemed to be the best/most intelligent conversation and TSR participation.  That was the Greyhawk board. I listened, I learned, I read, and I wrote Greyhawk.

Fifteen (sixteen?) years later, I still haven't ever run a GH campaign. To my knowledge, I might have played in one GH game, at Gen Con 1999. I homebrew my campaigns.  But writing for Greyhawk, and the feedback from the wider audience (including Roger Moore, Erik Mona, Sean K Reynolds, Gary Holian,  and Eric Boyd) was an invaluable education, and the only thing I regret is not seizing more of the opportunities that knocked on my door (hint: when someone at TSR sends you a message that there's an entry level position open to run the copy machine and you should apply to get your foot in the door...you should DO IT.)

Writing for Swords & Wizardry, I learn something with every post and every comment.  Sometimes this blog is my private little podium behind which I toot my own horn, but usually I think of it as a product.  A whimsical little product that doesn't answer to anyone but me, but a product nonetheless. A game-content delivery product, because that's what amuses me.  And I hate writing opinion pieces.

Random Monsters in progress

Making progress. Sometimes the dang thing even works.

This creature is called a Mertionscar, or Banetwitch Skeleton
They are a race of hares. It is iron in color and medium, like a human or leopard in size.
It is a Magical Creature, and is of low intelligence. They are Chaotic.
HD 2+2; AC 3 (16); Atk 1 weapon (1d6); Save 16; Special: ; Move 15, burrow 12; Alignment: Neutrality

Thoughts:

• This one worked really well. They could be fey (pookas), constructs (messengers), or just a magical race of giant weapon-wielding rabbits.
• The S&W monster generator adds a mechanical layer on top of the random monster layer, so right now both produce alignments. I'm tempted to strike alignment out of the random monster creator.
• I need to add more color variations; or maybe make it a function of type, so Constructs would yield materials rather than color.
• Looking at the SW Monster DB, there's not as many common special abilities as I'd hoped. That's kinda cool, but also makes more work.

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One hour later....
OK, getting better. Random Monster Generator results:
This creature is called a Apinoa, or Beetle Champion. They are a race of sparrows. It is normal in color and medium, like a human or leopard in size. It is a Monstrous Beast, and is of human intelligence. They often lair in sub-tropical woodlands.
This creature is called a Outcitw, or Banewood Boar. It looks like a raven crossed with a troglodyte. It is normal in color and huge, like a giant or elephant in size. It is a Magical Creature, and is of human intelligence. They are known for having a composed attitude. They prefer to live in tropical jungles.

This creature is called a Getdiic, or Fireleech Mystic. It looks like a moth crossed with a rhinoceros. It is white in color and huge, like a giant or elephant in size. It is a Magical Creature, and is of low intelligence. They are known for having a stern attitude. They prefer to live in temperate mountains.

This creature is called a Reen, or Spiredoor Crocodileserpent. It has the body of a horse, the torso of a owl, and the head of a ferret. It is normal in color and small, like a halfling or dog in size. It is a Folk, and is of human intelligence. They live in large clans. They are a violent and a tight-lipped people. They prefer to settle in temperate woodlands.

And S&W Monster Generator: Pretty decent as concepts, I think.
This creature is called a Nalaste, or Shiphaven Pigcrocodile. It has the head of a katydid and the body of a antelope. It is normal in color and tiny, like a rat in size. It is an Animal, and is of animal intelligence. They prefer temperate steppes.
HD 4; AC 6 (13); Atk ; Save 13; Special: ; Move 12; Alignment: Any

This creature is called a Tafitnu, or Hawkspawn Philosopher. It has the body of a bee, the torso of a troglodyte, and the neck of a guardian naga. It is normal in color and large, like an ogre or horse in size. It is a Folk, and is of human intelligence. They live in tiny tribes. They are an opinionated people. They prefer to settle in tropical mountains.
HD 2+2; AC 9 (10); Atk 2 claws (1d4); Save 16; Special: ; Move 15; Alignment: Neutrality

This creature is called a Ntleno, or Spectral Half-lava Wasp. They are a race of parrots. It is gray in color and tiny, like a rat in size. It is a Spirit, and is of human intelligence. They live in temperate hills.
HD 1d6; AC 4 (15); Atk 1 bite (1d4); Save 18; Special: ; Move 3; Alignment: Neutrality

This creature is called a Oouerimkna, or Crystal Spirit. It looks like a coyote crossed with a crane. It is normal in color and medium, like a human or leopard in size. It is a Magical Creature, and is of human intelligence. They are known for having a proud attitude. They prefer to live in tropical swamps.
HD 2; AC 6 (13); Atk 1 bite (1d6); Save 16; Special: ; Move 15; Alignment: Neutrality

This creature is called a Gll, or Leechcat. It looks like a black pudding crossed with a gerbil. It is normal in color and medium, like a human or leopard in size. It is an Animal, and is of animal intelligence. They prefer sub-tropical prairies.
HD 2+1; AC 6 (13); Atk 1 bite (1d4); Save 16; Special: ; Move 9; Alignment: Any

This creature is called a Geneici, or Snakechild Half-lost. It looks like a eagle crossed with a caiman. It is normal in color and large, like an ogre or horse in size. It is a Monstrous Beast, and is of animal intelligence. They often lair in sub-tropical steppes.
HD 2+3; AC 7 (12); Atk 1 weapon (1d6); Save 16; Special: ; Move 15; Alignment: Chaos

This creature is called a Ciposmag, or Fish Witch. It has the body of a nessian warhound, the head of a choker, the hind legs of a giant bee, and the hind legs of a svirfneblin gnome. It is normal in color and medium, like a human or leopard in size. It is a Construct made of silver and white marble and is of animal intelligence..
HD 3+3; AC 7 (12); Atk 2 claws (1d4); Save 14; Special: ; Move 9, swim 15; Alignment: Neutrality

S&W Races: Mongrelmen and Ubue

Mongrelman
Mongrelmen have no set appearance, being bizarre and hideous amalgamations of other races. They speak their own language and Common.

Mongrelmen can see in the dark (darkvision) with a range of 60 feet. They have a +1 bonus to Strength and Constitution, but a -3 penalty to Charisma at character creation (maximum 18; minimum 3). They can mimic the sounds made by any creature they have previously encountered, including special vocal powers, but not the effects thereof. A successful saving throw by suspicious creatures detects the falsehood.

Mongrelmen can be Fighters (6th level; 7th with Strength 13+) or Thieves (8th level; 9th with Dexterity 13+).

Unique mongrelmen can be created with the Mongrelmen entry in the Tome of Horrors Complete.

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Ubue

The ubue are a bizarre, primitive race of extreme rarity. They have three heads, three legs, and three arms. They are approximately the size of ogres, and may be an offshoot of that race, or the result of an ogre/ettin affair. They speak their own language.

Ubue characters begin play with an extra hit die (1d6) in addition to their class hit dice. They have a +1 to their starting Strength and Constitution scores, but take a -1 on Intelligence and Charisma. They can carry shields, but must wear customized armor (double price). Ubue can make three natural attacks in a round, each inflicting 1d4 points of damage if successful, but have a move of 9 due to their unusual physiology.

Ubue are really three personalities in one body, and the personalities occasionally(15%) clash in tense situations. An ubue arguing with itself takes a -2 penalty to attacks, saving throws, and Armor Class.

Ubue can be Fighters(8th level; 9th level with a Strength of 14+) or Druids (3rd level; ubue druids are known as Shamans and are of Chaotic alignment).

Four Random Generators

I had a minor epiphany and went back to work on some random generators on Abulafia. 
TL;DR:  Random Word Generator; Random Monster Generator; Swords & Wizardry Monster Generator; Fantasy Class Generator

So, first up, the Random Word Generator: 
Examples: iesveruaafgetcagen, opaid, eth, canb, covoallterscy, nuoc, tokocol, sonai, verpolandgderae.

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Which led to the Random Monster Generator (inspired by the Creature Creator at Age of Fable, although with a bit more work the two will be quite a bit different, I hope).
Examples: 
This creature is called a Fafael, or Aurochshambler
It has the head of a giraffe and the body of a panda. It is pale yellow in color and small, like a halfling or dog in size.
It is a Spirit, and is of above-human intelligence. It is Neutral.

This creature is called a Exdaus, or Ethereal Direrat
It looks like a slug crossed with a centipede. It is normal in color and large, like an ogre or horse in size.
It is a Magical Creature, and is of human intelligence. They are Neutral.

This creature is called a Temmyex, or Ape Spirit
It has the body of a ermine, the tail of a lightfoot halfling, and the head of a orangutan. It is lavender in color and small, like a halfling or dog in size.
It is a Monstrous Beast, and is of human intelligence. They are Neutral.

Note: I don't know how the randomizer at Abulafia works, but it's clearly not quite random. Results tend to run in groups, and it's been displaying an odd fondness for "Creature has the hind legs of" or "Creature has the head of", with the result that a number of creatures have been multi-headed, multi-hind legged monstrosities without torsos or front legs.

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And that brings us back around to something I started a year or two ago, the Swords & Wizardry Monster Generator. If you get a mostly blank result, you got a creature with a HD of 10+, and nothing has attacks or special yet. I can't randomize CL/XP either, unless I start with that and work backwards (maybe later).

This creature is called a Bclebee, or Gibbershredder
It has the body of a flying fox, the torso of a turkey, and the hind legs of a wasp. It is normal in color and medium, like a human or leopard in size.
It is a Spirit, and is of human intelligence. It is Chaotic.
Hit Dice: 3+3
Armor Class: 5 (14)
Attacks:
Saving Throw: 14
Special:
Move: 12
Alignment: Chaos

This creature is called a Genlar, or Doom Ant
It has the head of a peccary and the body of a cat. It is normal in color and small, like a halfling or dog in size.
It is a Magical Creature, and is of low intelligence. They are Neutral.
Hit Dice: 8+2
Armor Class: 4 (19
Attacks:
Saving Throw: 8
Special:
Move: 9
Alignment: Chaos

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I didn't work on the Fantasy Class Generator this time around, but it's there too.

S&W Race: Aurad

Aurad (Artists)
Aurads are elegant, aristocratic beings with multi-hued skin and avian plumage in place of hair. They are tall, fine-boned and fine-featured, with languid movements like the opening of a peacock's tail. They consider themselves the epitome of civilized taste, and prefer aesthetic pleasures to ethical ones. They usually live in enclaves within other races’ cities, where they are traders and craftsmen – but always under the guise of the artist or connoisseur.

Aurads begin play with a +1 bonus to their Charisma (18 maximum). They are light-loving creatures and take a -1 penalty to attacks in when not in bright light. Aurads can flare their plumage to dazzle onlookers, who must succeed at a saving throw or take a -1 penalty to attacks for one round. Despite their haughty disposition, they are cunning businesscreatures, with a 4 in 6 chance of evaluating the correct worth of an item at a glance.

Aurads can advance as Fighters (4th level), Magic-Users (7th level; 8th with 18+ Intelligence), or Thieves (unlimited). If the Illusionist class is used, aurads can advance as Illusionists just as they can Magic-Users, but to one additional level.

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Aurad: HD 1d6; AC 7[12]; Atk 1 weapon(1d6); Move 12; Save 18; AL L; CL/XP B/10; Special: dazzle, -1 attack in dim light.

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1d6 Random Aurad Adventurers

1. An artist (1d6: 1-music; 2-sculpture; 3-painting; 4-poetry; 5-dramatist; 6-interpretive dance) looking for inspiration.
2. A collector of rare works searching for lost masterpieces.
3. A “rebel” aurad looking to live the “real” life of a “primitive”.
4. A performance artist whose preferred medium is melee combat.
5. A information artist (ie spy, agent, herald, rumor-collector).
6. An elderly aurad that has grown bored and is looking for a little excitement before she dies.

Item: Sacnoth

Sacnoth

Near unto the village of Allathurion lay the swamps of Tharagawerug the dragon-crocodile, who would eat for his meal one man a day. Through the fortitude and determination of Leothric, the heir of Allathurion, Tharagawerug was overcome and the metal of his body melted down until only the steel of his spine remained. One of Tharagawerug’s eyes honed the edge of the unyielding metal; the other, gleaming wetly sapphire, was set into the hilt of the honed blade, the blade Sacnoth.

Sacnoth is a +3 bastard sword. A sapphire steel eye gleams in the hilt, blinking and moving of its own accord. The eye grants Sacnoth’s wielder a +1 bonus to armor class and all saving throws; the wielder can choose to add an additional +1 or +2 bonus to his armor class, but takes the same amount as a penalty to his attack and damage rolls. The eye cannot be blinded, sees invisible and extra-dimensional creatures, and through all manner of darkness. It has a 25% chance of deflecting arrows before they strike, and can deflect magic missiles as well. 

Sacnoth itself is indestructible.